{"id":47952,"date":"2023-01-28T15:13:22","date_gmt":"2023-01-28T15:13:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.brandon.ddtest.info\/multisite-test\/we-received-15000-at-our-wedding-and-we-dont-know-what-to-do\/"},"modified":"2023-01-28T15:13:22","modified_gmt":"2023-01-28T15:13:22","slug":"we-received-15000-at-our-wedding-and-we-dont-know-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.brandon.ddtest.info\/multisite-test\/we-received-15000-at-our-wedding-and-we-dont-know-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"We received $15,000 at our wedding and we don’t know what to do"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column.\u00a0<\/em>Have a question?\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Send it to Lillian, Athena, and Elizabeth here<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>(It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Much to our surprise, my new spouse and I received about $15,000 for our wedding (Yay! Wow!)! We also have about $10,000 in credit card debt and over $50,000 in student loan debt combined (though we both applied for federal student debt relief, which will hopefully pass). Right now, we\u2019re feeling very lucky and very overwhelmed\u2014neither of us comes from a very financially literate family, and aren\u2019t sure what to do with the money. Could you help us figure out some of the best options?<\/p>\n

Right now we\u2019re discussing either completely paying off the credit card debt and saving what\u2019s left over OR continuing to do our minimum monthly payments on the credit card debt and immediately putting all of the gift money into some kind of savings account (what kind, we\u2019re not sure). Either way, we also think it\u2019d be best to just keep continuing our regular monthly student loan payments and not use that gift money for that at all. These sums might seem small to some readers but we\u2019re absolutely blown away by the generosity of our loved ones. We\u2019re both in very rewarding but low-paying fields, so this amount of money is a lot more than what either of us has seen at one time, despite slowly building up our savings outside of this gift.<\/p>\n

\u2014To Pay or to Save<\/p>\n

Dear Pay or Save,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m all about a side hustle, and now I know apparently, wedding gifts can make it happen.<\/p>\n

As of now, student loan payments are suspended<\/a> until the Supreme Court rules on the future of the student loan forgiveness plan (payments will start 60 days after their decision). If the issue isn\u2019t resolved by June 30, 2023, payments will then resume 60 days after that. With that being said, you have some options to make your windfall work for you.<\/p>\n

You shared in the initial letter that you and your husband both have careers that aren\u2019t necessarily making you a ton of money. With your tight financial situation, it\u2019s a good idea to assess how much cash you have access to should an emergency arise\u2014cash can go a lot further<\/a> than an emergency fund you have to finance. I always recommend starting with $1,000, then working your way up to the amount of money you would need to cover necessary expenses for three months.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re covered on that end, I recommend treating yourself to something fun as a couple and then something that would make your quality of life better. Whatever cash is remaining, I would then use to pay off your credit card debt. The interest that is most likely accruing on your credit cards cancels out the gains you\u2019d make in a savings account. If you still have remaining debt left over, create a plan that will help you pay it off, then put the money you freed up that you were using for payments toward other areas of your budget that could use some TLC. I wish you the best of luck on your new journey.<\/p>\n

Want more Pay Dirt every week?\u00a0<\/em>Sign up for Slate Plus now<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My husband and I are in our 50s and this is the second marriage for both of us. At the start of the new year, we decided to review our finances\/wills\/etc ,to make sure everything is in order.<\/p>\n

We discussed what our children (he has two kids in their 20s and I have a daughter who is a senior in high school) will receive if we die. His children will each get about $1.5 million. I would get my husband\u2019s 401(k) (worth close to $1 million). So his total assets are about $4 million. I have about $1.3 million in assets including the value of my home, and I have a $1.5 million term life insurance policy that ends when I turn 80. My daughter will get $1 million of that plus my other assets and my husband will get $500,000 from my life insurance.<\/p>\n

My husband has asked me to also leave him my 401(k) which is currently worth about $350,000. He says he doesn\u2019t \u201cneed\u201d the money, but it would make him feel better if assets were more evenly distributed between himself and my daughter.<\/p>\n

I have financial anxiety from growing up with a family that had nothing. My parents died in their 70s in debt and owing on a mortgage. I didn\u2019t receive any financial support from them growing up and I divorced my first husband primarily due to financial abuse. I don\u2019t want my daughter to struggle the way I did, and I realize logically that I am leaving her with plenty, but in my head, it will never be enough. The life insurance isn\u2019t guaranteed if I (hopefully) live past 80. My husband inherited a substantial amount from his dad and will likely inherit another windfall from his uncle in the next decade. I don\u2019t want my husband to be upset with me, but I am struggling with turning over my 401(k) to him, although he is giving his to me. I don\u2019t know what the right answer is, but I would prefer to leave things as they are.<\/p>\n

\u2014Can There Ever Be \u201cEven\u201d?<\/p>\n

Dear Even,<\/strong><\/p>\n

It sounds like your husband is a little insecure, and I\u2019m not sure why. He admitted he doesn\u2019t need the money, so what does it matter if he\u2019s only getting $500,000 if he has $4 million in assets? Especially since he\u2019s set to inherit even more money.<\/p>\n

As a parent, you want to ensure that your daughter is OK after you\u2019re gone, and you\u2019re doing that how you see fit. So no, don\u2019t direct the 401(k) to him. If he asks why explain to him what you\u2019ve told me here: that you have a lot of financial trauma leftover from your childhood and the first marriage that you\u2019re working through. Due to this, you feel more comfortable having your estate drawn up the way it is, ensuring that your daughter is taken care of. If he continues, remind him that it\u2019s nothing against him, this is just how it is for now and you\u2019d be open to talking about it next time you revisit your estate.<\/p>\n

If he insists, the next step is to ask yourself how important it is for you to have his 401(k) because if this is the hill you guys are fighting on, it may make sense to tell him you no longer wish to have it. You know, for the sake of fairness.<\/p>\n

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